June

June always has such a funny effect on me. Not funny haha. Funny strange.

Sometimes I think it is because it is my birthday month. Other times, (most times actually), I think it is related to something else. Something about June ignites inner energy that gets my adrenalin going. And, if there is stimulating and enjoyable activity around it- the results can be amaZing.

If not, it is almost painful. Like now.

I have the urge to do something creative, travel somewhere, meet new people, fall in love -(then quickly out), dance, swim, garden, roll around in the grass, hang out at airports, watch meaningful movies, say exactly what's on my mind (but then am always relieved when I dont), cry until I have no tears left, scream at the top of my lungs, and jump off docks into cold icy water (which I have never actually done, and probably never will, but it's an exciting thought).

I almost feel like something is seriously missing, but I dont know what it is. If I knew where to look for it I would be searching like a mad woman. It is almost a "confusion" but I dont know about what.

Athough I must say...there are moments of extreme gratitude and satisfaction.

Like this morning when Lora brought me the funky, vintage, table-lamp that I had covetously eyed as we browsed through the antique store a few months ago. I decided it was a definite WANT instead of a need and continued window shopping.

When she hand delivered it to my home I was almost speechless. I was so overcome with how thoughtful she was, I couldnt even speak. Someone actually thought of ME. And, gave me something that is not only beautiful- but I really WANTED it. Those are the kind of things that take away that uneasy inside feeling. If even only for a morning..... Thanks LuLu