The Beginning of the Past

I got married on July 22, 1977 in Kuta, Bali. Barely a month since my 18th birthday, wrapped in purple and gold, flowers in my hair, gems and jewellery around my neck and wrists. It was a small wedding by Balinese standards. My mother and a few Aussies staying at the losmen belonging to my husband's family, plus a foreign photographer that my mom had met at her hotel and invited to the wedding were the only attendees that even closely resembled a bride's party. It was one of the first weddings of its kind- in our village anyways. Balinese had married foreigners before, (better known as 'tourists'), but it was usually the female who was Balinese, and they usually did not stay in Bali.

Hours of sitting in the sun while the priest rang his bell and chanted the marriage prayers to the surrounding ancestors and Sang Hyang Widi. Feeling sick, excited and nervous all at the same time, but wanting it to be over so I could hide in my little room and rethink this whole idea. Should I have followed my instinct a few hours earlier?

The feeling had hit me as the finishing touches were being done to my hair and makeup, sitting in front of the wooden wardrobe's full-length mirror. I didnt want to do this. What was I thinking? I hadnt even gone to my high school graduation! All of these bizarre and foreign things going on around me. The hypnotic chanting, the breaking of eggs and coconuts, burning incense, chickens and pigs sacrificed in front of the family temple. I told my sister-in-law to be that I had changed my mind. She looked shocked and tried to calm me down- Dont worry she told me, everyone goes through this. You have to go out there. Everyone is waiting. What will we tell people? She started to look more cranky then shocked. Okay, I said, okay. I'll go. And out I went into the courtyard, to begin the daylong ceremony that would change my life forever.